Megamind

Director: Tom McGrath

Run Time: 1 Hour 36 Minutes

Rating: PG

The Bouw-Man.

It’s interesting how the marketing of a film can change as the release date grows nearer.  The original trailer for “Megamind” was shown quite frequently this past summer, and the impression you were left with is that “Metro Man” and “Metro Man” were adversaries and that would be the underlining plot.  It appeared for the patrons who wanted to see the film that they were in store for some hilarity similar to “Austin Powers” vs. “Dr. Evil” (only in animated form).  I usually give Will Ferrell the benefit of the doubt and I did like the “Austin Powers” films, so I was looking forward to seeing “Megamind.”  Somewhere along the way, the preview changed and audiences were now led to believe that “Megamind” would assume the role of “Metro Man” and become a “good guy.”  Ironically, that’s what I didn’t like about the third installment of “Austin Powers” (“Goldmember,” if you need a refresher).  Now, I don’t know what to expect.  I guess you have to pay for a ticket to find out.  I may very well do so, but I’m just not as committed to seeing it as I was this past summer when the original trailer cam out.

 

Animated films just keep getting churned out at a record pace.  Just throw in some celebrity voices, a little bit of humor tailored toward adults, a 90-minute screen time and some likeable creatures and you have yourself a film.  Oh, make sure it comes in 3D to get a few more bucks out of the paying audience members.  That seems to be the blueprint for a successful animated film, and “Megamind” seems to be following this outline. 

Prediction.

It’s been over a month since “Alpha and Omega” and “Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole” came out, so I guess we’re due for an animated film to have a nice run.  $48 million sounds like an appropriate opening weekend total for “Megamind.”

Opening Weekend Gross: $48 Million

Noodles.

After watching Toy Story 3 with my kids this past weekend I feel as though I'm in a better place to think about this latest stint in cartoon foolery. I think Will Ferrell is one of the funniest cats in Hollywood, and he's sometimes overlooked too quickly. The concept is obviously a parallel to Superman vs. Lex Luthor, but with a twist. 

I'm encouraged by the PG rating which to me says that there will not only be kid appropriate humor, but also the kind of subtle comedy that kids won't get right away but we adults will love. Plus I like how the trailer leaves out enough of the plot that we're curious as to who the main villain could be if its not the main character.

Prediction.

Megamind looks poised to be the weekend winner at the box office. The reviews are good, and the cast is solid. Plus you always have to give the edge to a kids movie when the last big CG kids flick to come out was 'Legend of the Guardians'. I'm thinking this is going to be a hit.

Opening Weekend: Gross: $45 Million

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Jonah Hex

"This is how you'll get me to see this movie...Chain me down."

Director: Jimmy Hayward

Run Time: 1 Hr. 21 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

The Bouw-Man.

Don’t know really what to make of this one.  It appears there’s a lot going on, which is always risky during the summer months.  Is it a western?  Is it science fiction?  All I kept thinking about was the debacle, “Wild Wild West” with Will Smith and Kevin Kline.  They took an old western premise and covered it over with new-age technology and attempted humor.  By the looks of this preview there doing the same with some added supernatural material.  

Obviously we’re dealing with a cursed man (Brolin) who was wronged by some individual from his past (Malkovich).  This caused him to be a loner assassin, apparently with some sort of magical powers.  So, what better premise can you think of for a revenge centered action film then where the two face each other (no pun intended) again during the film’s climax?  Throw in some corny one-liners and the latest slutty hottie for sex appeal, and you have the formula for a classic summer “popcorn” movie.  However, as mentioned earlier, the lack of focus as to what it wants to be is a concern.  Especially, during a 2010 year filled with so many blockbuster failures.   

The cast hardly has an established track record, so it better hope to captivate the audience with a good story, action sequences and overall fun.  Yet another curious element to this film is its 80-minute run-time.  That reminds me of another Will Smith summer flick, “Men in Black 2,” where they ripped off the public with a paltry run-time.  Unfortunately, “Men in Black 2” had name recognition and “Jonah Hex” does not.

Prediction.

I just don’t see this one pulling Hollywood out of its summer hole.  An undefined genre, little star power and general lack of excitement over its opening, may very well kick “Jonah Hex” to the curb.  The “PG-13”rating will help the most curious teens come calling, but after that I can’t see big numbers.  Let’s say $12 million and an early exit to the second run movie house by the end of July.

Opening Weekend Gross: $12 Million

Noodles.

No. Absolutely, positively not. No way man. Game over! Since when was the world begging for a Jonah Hex movie to be made? Remember last Halloween when all the little kids were dressing up like Jonah Hex? No? Of course you don't, because WHO GIVES A CRAP ABOUT JONAH HEX!!?

Excuse me. I just watched this trailer and was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress flashbacks of Will Smith in Wild, Wild West. I promised myself that I would never make a guarantee when I started doing these reviews before the movie came out, but... I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE that this movie will be utterly unwatchable. 

Where to begin? I think Josh Brolin is a pretty good actor but this feels like he's doing a remix of his Bush voice from W. And Jonah Hex was always a fourth string comic character to begin with, so how he rated this level of special effects and action hero hype is beyond me. And what's with the guns that shoot DYNAMITE!? Didn't these guys learn anything from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen about using dumbed down modern technology in these period pieces? Bad idea. And the dialog...Oh my god. The one liners, the stupid quips, the sexual banter, did George Lucas write the screenplay for this thing?...My mind just boggles with more questions.

Prediction.

I don't know how many ways I can say that this move looks horrible on so many fronts. I think Megan Fox is a very beautiful girl, but the only thing worse than watching her act would be having to sit through a remake of the Odd Couple starring Hayden Christensen and Channing Tatum. 

 

No one is going to pay money to see this garbage, especially me. I think most people will skip  this in favor of Toy Story 3, and then by the following week this sad chapter in American Cinema will have passed. **Special Note...I wrote this review earlier in the week hoping that perhaps my feelings would mellow with the passage of time, but every time I thought back to how ridiculous this thing looks I think I was too nice. In fact, I'm deducting another $2 Million off my prediction!

Opening Weekend: Gross: $10 Million    $8 Million

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