Piranha 3D

Director: Alexandre Aja

Run Time: 1 hrs. 29 min.

Rating: R

The Bouw-Man.

It’s hard to believe that the classic thriller “Jaws” came out 35 years ago.  All it took was a memorable musical score, a smart tagline (“Don’t go in the water.”) and cheap thrills to captivate a mass audience.  Many other films have come out trying to replicate the original “Jaws” (including three sequels), but none has really come close.  Two “water-themed” creature thrillers that come to mind are 1997’s “Anaconda” (snake) and 1999’s “Lake Placid” (crocodile).  You could argue that they were both thrilling in their own way, but the story was nothing to write home about (as well as the acting).  Something tells me that “Piranha 3D” will likely fall within this grouping when it’s all said and done.  The film does have the luxury of having Ving Rhames, Elisabeth Shue and Christopher Lloyd as part of the cast, so you could do a lot worse.  They even have Richard Dreyfuss, who was also part of the original “Jaws.”  It would be pretty interesting to have a real life conversation with Dreyfuss regarding the “Jaws” and “Piranha 3D” correlation to see what he truly thinks.  My guess is he’s simply trying to pay his bills, and this latest thrill-ride accomplished that goal for him handsomely.  

Prediction.

Piranhas are pretty terrifying creatures to begin with, so it probably won’t take much to take them to the next level.  I have no doubt that “Piranha 3D” will be able to supply enough heart-stopping moments to satisfy its core audience.  Don’t expect anything too deep or fulfilling, and you should leave with several special effect-induced memories to last you until Hollywood makes their next scary film.  I’m betting it will be about man-eating manatees, or killer catfish.  I think there are about $21 million worth of ticket receipts waiting for this water ride. 

Opening Weekend Gross: $21 Million

Noodles.

"Why does this look like fun?" That was my first thought after watching the long trailer for this movie. I thought the days of the "Nature gone bloodthirsty" genre had ended but if this movie does what I think its capable of we could be watching a gritty Jaws remake by summer of 2012. 

I like the idea of an extinct Piranha terrorizing spring break. I did feel as though the CG was a little too obvious, kind of like how the snakes looked fake in SOAP. However, the story looks promising as least for a few good gory thrills. The fact that this is an R rated movie also gives me the comfort of feeling like they won't skimp on the gore, violence, and boob shots that make for a great horror movie experience.

Prediction.

This is a tricky one. There are five movies coming out this weekend to compete with Piranha 3D and the other films don't cost an extra $4 to go see them. But, there hasn't been a good horror film to hit theaters in a bit so this could rule the weekend if enough of the teens get the urge to scream.

Opening Weekend: Gross: $25 Million

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