Burlesque

Director: Steven Antin

Run Time: 1 hrs. 40 min.

Rating: PG-13

The Bouw-Man.

A film they’re promoting as Cher’s comeback and Christina Aguilera’s much anticipated debut for some reason doesn’t have me all that excited.  Seems to me both should stick to the concert circuit, a form of entertainment they are more adequately suited for, instead of gracing us with their presence on-screen.  Both singers/actresses lent their voices to the soundtrack, which I’m sure offers decent music if you like that sort of thing.  The trailer to “Burlesque” is about as basic as you can get.  A small-town girl ventures to Los Angeles to make it big, and discovers some obstacles along the way.  Wow, never heard that story before.  I guess when you’re dealing with someone’s film debut you mustn’t make things too complicated.  Sort of like keeping the playbook simple for a football team with a freshman or rookie quarterback. 

 

Cher was last seen on screen in the critically-acclaimed 2003 hit (no I’m not being serious), “Stuck on You” starring Matt Damon.  I’m sure neither Oscar winner talks up that one on their resume.  She really hasn’t starred in a whole lot of films, so it doesn’t really seem like the classic definition of a comeback.  Aguilera, on the other hand, is following in a long line of singers turned actors.  Some have made the transition successfully like Will Smith or Mark Wahlberg (Oh, where have you gone “Fresh Prince” and “Marky Mark?), while others like Jessica Simpson and Curtis Jackson (“50 Cent”) have struggled immensely.  My guess is that this debut will be more reminiscent of Brittany Spears’s debut stinker “Crossroads,” than Eminem’s splendid debut film “8 Mile.”

Prediction.

The “PG-13” rating indicates that “Burlesque” won’t offer much in terms of sexual intrigue.  I thought a “risqué” film starring these two had the possibility of creating a “Showgirls” type of guilty pleasure.  However, as it stands now, I see just a sub-par (at best) film offering.  With a lot of options out there this weekend, I think “Burlesque” is in for tough sledding.  Let’s say $13 million, which is reserved for only for the most curious film-goers.   

Opening Weekend Gross: $13 Million

Noodles.

Prediction.

I think Cher is a huge talent, and of white girls that sing soulfully Christina is probably my favorite after Taylor Dane and Lisa Marie. That said, the only thing missing from the trailer is Elizabeth Berkley grinding across the stage dry humping everything in sight. This could be good but I think its big numbers are going to come over the next few weeks, if they come at all.

Opening Weekend: Gross: $15 Million

SHOWTIMES & TICKETS

Enter ZIP Code: